I could never be the main female character in a 17th-century romance novel because a farmhand of my estate would find my lifeless body out on the moors after I succumbed to exposure as a result of desperately fleeing from the story’s perfectly desirable love interest.. My hyper-independent side recoils at over-the-top, romantic expressions directed at me. However, I am okay with doing it for myself, so I came up with Buy Yourself Flowers: 11 Acts of Self Romance to help anyone looking to feel romantic instead of waiting for someone else to do it. Because one thing I’m good at is romancing myself!
Buy Yourself Flowers: 11 Acts of Self Romance
1. Buy Yourself Flowers (Or Pick Them) for Self-Care and Self Romance
In the loftiest of romantic visions, a courtly suitor professes grandiose words of love beneath his love’s balcony by the light of the moon, offering a single red rose, giving major Romeo vibes minus the complications of teen romance or guaranteed tragedy.
There is something about freshly cut flowers that foster fuzzy feelings. But there’s no need to wait for someone else to do it when you can buy yourself flowers.
In the recent past, a last-minute floral arrangement pick-up saved my sanity, so I’m convinced that happiness springs eternal in the form of a grocery-store-bought daisy bouquet.
2. Get Dressed Up in Red for Self Romance
Red incites strong reactions from strangers passing by, love interests, and Spanish bulls. My advice is to steer clear of the latter if donning said color.
Red is associated with passion and attractiveness, with several studies on the subject. It can make us feel bold, daring, and confident but not so confident to test our luck in a Spanish bullfight…
So whether it’s a dress you go out to salsa in or a t-shirt that makes you feel like a million bucks, wearing red can help us see ourselves more romantically and increase our excitement to meet the day.
Who knows! You may meet the love of your life by catching their eye with a flash of red.
3. Sunset Stroll through the Park for Self Romance
Sunsets mark endings and allow time for reflection filtered through a dream-like lens, so it’s not surprising that sunsets illicit romantic feelings.
This moment of the day also can spur feelings of nostalgia, the less-talked-about form of self-care of which I’m a major champion. If you’d like to learn more about nostalgia and its benefits, check out my post, Mental Health Matters: Nostalgia.
One sunset plus a walk through the park is sure to equal feelings of whimsy and romance. While this activity is more of a time commitment than if you buy yourself flowers, that’s part of its charm. It allows devoting the time and attention to oneself that a budding romance offers.
Also, this should go without saying, but be sure to assess for safety when selecting a park to walk through at sunset since outrunning pickpockets on your way home is less romantic.
4. Gift Yourself an Elementary-School Style Valentine’s Card for Self Romance
Nothing quite replicates the innocence and warm feelings of an elementary school-style Valentine’s Day card. Even though passing them out on Valentine’s Day brought sheet terror at the thought of giving the best one to your crush, who was a bit of a crybaby and not very cute when you look back on it now. But we’ve all had questionable crushes, so luckily, this activity allows you to give the best card of the pack to your number one crush: you!
These cards are available in most grocery or department stores this time of year. So feel free to double up on these activities and splurge to buy yourself flowers, a pack of cards, or maybe some Brach’s hearts with loving messages.
5. Get Yourself a Box of Chocolates for Self Romance
One need not sit on a bus stop bench next to Forrest Gump to discuss a box of chocolates. I’m willing to discuss them at all times. Chocolate was considered an aphrodisiac by the Aztecs and can give you feelings of love.
The best part about getting chocolates this time of year is the ornate boxes and stuffed animals that can come with them. A store near me has a giant wall of Valentine’s Day stuffed animals that, if an earthquake were to occur, would thrust Aisle 3 into a post-apocalyptic world ruled by a 4-foot-tall teddy bear who’d assumed power after the subjugation of all the smaller bears. So trust me when I say you’ve got a lot of options if you want to add a stuffed animal or nick nack to your chocolate purchase!
Gifting yourself a box of chocolates is another self-romance act that complements when you buy yourself flowers, so if you’ve got the means, splurge! You deserve all those loving feelings.
6. Turn Your Bathroom into a Spa for Self Romance
A life goal of mine is to have a bubble bath recreated to the exact specifications of Mariah Carey’s episode of MTV Cribs airdate on January 7, 2002. I’d include a gif, but it would do the moment a disservice, as it needs to be seen in context to get the total vibe.
One thing I do NOT recommend replicating is keeping a towel draped awkwardly over your chest the entire time. But then again, it’s rare a camera crew is in a person’s bathroom, so I think you’re safe.
Say what you want about Mariah, but one thing she gets right is her baths! The lady knows you need dim lighting, candles, and mood music. So clear your evening calendar and go all out to set the romantic mood for yourself.
7. Clean Sheets Fresh Out of the Shower or Bath for Self Romance
Transitioning nicely from our Mariah Carey bathtime, you can do this right after if you choose! I don’t know why this feels so amazing, but anyone who has taken a shower or bath and slipped under the sheets afterward for some relaxation knows how amazing this feels.
While not what one may think about expressions of romance, this act is comfort meets sensuality. And if you get a nap out of it, all the better!
8. Burn a Candle with a Romantic Scent for Self Romance
Candles already cast a romantic ambiance in many contexts, but burning one like rose, jasmine, vanilla, or patchouli screams romance. Similar to if you buy yourself flowers, combining this activity with others on the list can bring double the warm fuzzy feelings. Except for the sunset stroll through the park. People will think you’re having a candle-lit vigil or joining others for ritual sacrifice. Either way, don’t pair those two together.
9. Watch or Read a Romance for Self Romance
Books and movies with romance are other forms of practicing self-romance. Not only can they transport you to another time and place, but they also can curb running headfirst into less-than-desirable relationships.
Who needs Kevin, who always skips leg day from your gym and responds to texts 48 hours after you send them when you can have Mr. Darcy, Jack Dawson, or anyone whose character traits have been well-thought-out by an author or screenplay writer? They have to be better than Kevin!
10. Write Yourself a Love Letter for Self Romance
Writing is a powerful tool, from enhancing creativity to healing emotional wounds. The best part about this exercise is saving it for later when needed. But you don’t necessarily have to wait. Whenever you want to reflect on the things you love about yourself, this can help.
To connect you with romantic feelings, focus on a thing you find attractive about yourself or a memory of when you were rocking an outfit that left you feeling so oo la la!
If it evolves into the next bestselling romance novel, let me know so I can grab a copy.
11. Buy Yourself Jewelry for Self Romance
Jewelry is polarizing: people seem to love it or hate it. I am not a jewelry fan. I’m far too frugal to think it’s a practical use of my money. But this is all about romance, not practicality!
So if there’s a piece you’ve had your eye on that will make you feel like the vibrant queen you are, go for it! I will stick to candy necklaces, and ring pops as they give me serious nostalgia while also making me giddy.
Whatever strikes your fancy and your bank account can withstand is the way to go.
That’s all of Buy Yourself Flowers: 11 Acts of Self Romance!
Are there any ideas on the list you’re looking forward to trying? Or any others you currently do that work for you?
Buy yourself flowers is one I’ll be utilizing soon. This post reminds me of how great it makes me feel.
Let me know in the comments, as I’d love to see what you all do for self romance. And Happy almost Valentine’s Day!
This! This is an awesome post full of important stuff! I love how you equated self-care and romance. I mean, really, that’s what romance is, right? Being swept off our feel by someone who shows care for us but yes, we need to do that for ourselves too! Love it!